Strong Not Skinny: Why Lifting Weights Changed My Body and Mind
For years, the fitness industry perpetuated the myth that weightlifting would make women ‘bulky’, intimidating many from exploring its benefits. As someone who spent years focusing on cardio-only workouts, I was among those who believed this misconception.
However, my journey took a dramatic turn when I discovered the empowering world of strength training and weightlifting. It not only revolutionized my physical appearance but also significantly improved my mental well-being.
This transformation sparked a crucial question: What if focusing on strength rather than thinness is the key to a healthier relationship with our body?
Key Takeaways
- Discover the benefits of strength training for women, beyond just aesthetics.
- Learn how to start your own strength training journey with practical tips.
- Understand the scientific benefits of strength training, including improved metabolism and mental health.
- Explore how societal perceptions of women’s bodies are evolving.
- Find out how strength training can build confidence and resilience.
My Fitness Journey Before Strength Training
For a long time, my fitness regimen was dictated by the pressure to conform to societal ideals of thinness. I was so brainwashed from what society deemed as beautiful.
I recall being pregnant with my first kid, a son, at 24, and knowing I had to make changes to eat properly and grow a healthy baby. As such, I gained a lot of weight while I was pregnant.
The Cardio-Only Approach
My initial approach to fitness was centered around cardio exercises. I viewed my body primarily as something to be made smaller rather than stronger, which affected my relationship with food and exercise.
This approach was misguided, and I was measuring my self-worth through the number on the scale rather than how I felt or what my body could accomplish.
Body Image Struggles
The constant comparison to unrealistic standards left me feeling inadequate despite years of dedicated effort, creating a negative cycle that affected many aspects of my life and health.
Media representations of “ideal” female body types influenced my perception of what I should look like, further exacerbating my struggles.
| My Approach | Outcomes |
|---|---|
| Cardio-only workouts | Focused on weight loss |
| Measuring success by weight | Negative impact on mental health |
Breaking Free from “Skinny” Ideals
I recall the moment my daughter’s innocent question made me realize the need to change my approach to fitness and overall well-being. It was the time in between pregnancies, and while my kids were growing up, I still struggled with eating. I would get caught up in the ‘lose the baby weight’ mindset, and I felt like the size of my body was tied to my worth.
Society’s Changing Perception of Women’s Bodies
The way society perceives women’s bodies is evolving. There’s a growing appreciation for strength training and its benefits beyond physical appearance. Women are increasingly being celebrated for their strength and resilience, rather than just their looks. This shift has been instrumental in changing my own mindset about what my body can achieve.
The Moment I Decided to Change
My older daughter’s question about why I wasn’t eating dinner was a wake-up call. I realized I had to model better behavior for my kids. I began researching lifting weights as a new way forward, discovering its numerous benefits for my overall well-being. This marked a significant change in my approach to fitness, focusing on what my body could do rather than just how it looked.
- I started to prioritize performance over appearance.
- I found inspiration in strong, confident women who embodied this new way of thinking.
- My previous approach was unsustainable and unhealthy, prompting a need for change.
Taking the First Step: My Weightlifting Challenge
With no prior knowledge of strength training, I took the first step towards a stronger me. I was determined to become strong, not just physically but also mentally, to form a better relationship with food and my body.
I started by creating a home gym in my garage with some dumbbells and began following YouTube and Instagram strength training videos. I also watched videos about anatomy and read the National Academy of Sports Medicine’s personal training book to gain a deeper understanding of exercises and muscle growth.
Setting Clear Goals
To stay focused, I set clear goals for my weightlifting journey. I wanted to improve my overall form and technique, and track my progress over time. Having specific objectives helped me stay motivated and driven.
Finding Professional Guidance
As I progressed, I realized the importance of seeking advice from professionals. I worked with a knowledgeable coach who helped me avoid common beginner mistakes and accelerated my progress in the gym. For example, proper guidance ensured I was using the correct training methods, which was invaluable for my growth.
By combining self-study with professional guidance, I was able to create a well-rounded weightlifting routine that suited my needs.
My Weekly Weightlifting Routine
As I progressed in my fitness journey, I developed a weekly weightlifting routine that has been instrumental in transforming my body. This routine was carefully planned to ensure balanced development between different muscle groups.

Balancing Strength Training with Other Workouts
To avoid overtraining and allow for recovery, I balanced my strength training with other workouts. For instance, I attended PT sessions with Fazakerley to focus on my lower body, which was my weakest area. Additionally, I incorporated an upper body and core weights session at my local David Lloyd gym. This balance helped me maintain overall fitness while targeting specific muscle groups.
Upper Body vs. Lower Body Focus
My weekly routine was divided to focus on different body parts. On Mondays, I trained my shoulders and abs with exercises like shoulder presses and crunch variations. Tuesdays were dedicated to lower body training, with moves such as deadlifts and barbell squats. On Wednesdays, I focused on back and biceps exercises like curl variations and lat pull-downs. This split allowed me to target various muscle groups effectively, leading to a well-rounded workout routine that I maintained throughout the week.
The Physical Transformation: Week by Week
The decision to start weightlifting marked the beginning of a remarkable physical transformation. As I progressed through my weekly weightlifting routine, I began to notice significant changes in my body. Initially, the progress was not dramatic, but with persistence and the right guidance, I started to see improvements.
Early Challenges and Victories
The first few weeks were challenging, with soreness being a constant companion. However, with each passing week, I felt my strength increasing. I started with simple exercises and gradually moved to more complex ones, celebrating small victories along the way. For instance, being able to lift heavier weights or performing more repetitions were significant milestones.
Measuring Progress Beyond the Scale
To track my progress, I used a variety of metrics beyond just my weight. I conducted regular body composition scans, maintained a workout journal, and took progress photos. These tools helped me understand the changes in my body composition and overall fitness level. I noticed that my clothes were fitting differently, and I was able to perform daily tasks with more ease, indicating a significant improvement in my functional strength.
Focusing on these non-scale victories was crucial in maintaining my motivation. It was fascinating to see how my body was adapting to the demands of weightlifting, and I felt a sense of accomplishment with each small victory.
Strong Not Skinny: Why Lifting Weights Changed My Body (& Mind)
Through weightlifting, I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for the capabilities of my body and the strength of my mind. As I progressed in my fitness journey, I began to notice significant changes that went beyond the physical.
Physical Changes I Noticed
The most immediate changes were in my body composition. I observed increased muscle tone and a more defined physique. Weightlifting helped me achieve a stronger, more resilient body.
| Physical Change | Notable Effects |
|---|---|
| Increased Muscle Tone | Improved overall physique |
| Better Body Composition | Enhanced athletic performance |
| Enhanced Strength | Increased confidence in daily activities |
Mental Shifts That Surprised Me
As I continued with weightlifting, I experienced mental shifts that were just as profound. The discipline required for consistent strength training positively influenced other areas of my life. I found that focusing on performance goals rather than aesthetic ones transformed my way of thinking about fitness and health.

Lifting weights became a form of moving meditation, helping reduce stress and improve my mental clarity. This mental shift has been instrumental in enhancing my overall well-being.
The Science Behind Strength Training Benefits
By understanding the science behind strength training, we can appreciate its value for overall health. Strength training is a multifaceted approach to fitness that offers numerous benefits, from improving body composition to reducing the risk of chronic disease.
Muscle Growth and Metabolism
One of the key benefits of strength training is its effect on muscle mass and metabolism. As we age, we naturally lose muscle mass, with studies indicating a 3-8% loss per decade after the age of 30. This loss can slow down metabolism, making it easier to gain weight. However, strength training can help counteract this process by building muscle and boosting metabolic rate.
Bone Density and Joint Health
Strength training also plays a crucial role in maintaining bone density, which is essential for preventing osteoporosis and reducing the risk of fractures. Additionally, proper resistance training can strengthen the structures around joints, potentially reducing the risk of injury and alleviating joint pain. This makes strength training beneficial even for individuals with existing joint conditions like arthritis.
Essential Form Tips for Beginners
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on my fitness journey is that proper form is key to achieving your strength training goals. When starting out with weightlifting, it’s crucial to focus on developing good habits from the beginning.
Proper Grip Techniques
A good grip is fundamental to many exercises, particularly those involving a barbell. For instance, when performing squats or deadlifts, the way you grip the barbell can significantly impact your overall body position and stability. Experimenting with different grip widths and styles can help you find what works best for you.

Body Positioning Fundamentals
Understanding how to position your body correctly is vital for both effectiveness and safety. For example, during squats, maintaining proper alignment and engaging your core can make a significant difference. I’ve found that placing my heels on the edge of a weight plate can help improve my ankle mobility and overall position during squats.
- Maintaining proper spinal alignment
- Engaging your core for stability
- Adjusting foot positioning based on individual anatomy
By focusing on these fundamentals, beginners can set themselves up for success and minimize the risk of injury.
Improving Range of Motion for Better Results
As you progress in your weightlifting journey, improving your range of motion becomes increasingly important. A better range of motion allows for more effective and safer exercises, reducing the risk of injury.
Pre-Workout Mobility Exercises
Before diving into your weightlifting routine, incorporating mobility exercises can significantly enhance your performance. Simple movements like leg swings, arm circles, and hip rotations can prepare your muscles and joints for the upcoming weights.
Equipment Modifications for Better Form
Using the right equipment can make a substantial difference in your weightlifting form. For instance, using a lighter barbell can be beneficial as it is typically thinner and easier to grip. Additionally, modifications such as placing weight plates under your heels during squats or adjusting the height of the bench can help achieve proper form.
- Adjusting equipment to fit your body proportions can make exercises more effective and comfortable.
- Using assistive equipment like lifting belts or knee sleeves can provide support when needed.
Overcoming Common Weightlifting Challenges
As I delved deeper into weightlifting, I faced various obstacles that required patience, persistence, and sometimes, a change in approach. One of the most significant challenges I encountered was with barbell back squats, an exercise that remained stubbornly difficult for me despite consistent practice.
My coach, Fazakerley, suggested switching to front squats, which proved to be a more effective alternative. This experience taught me the importance of identifying exercises that work well with my body structure.
Dealing with Strength Plateaus
A strength plateau can be frustrating, but it’s a common experience in weightlifting training. To overcome this, I focused on varying my workout routine and ensuring proper recovery techniques.
Finding Alternatives When Exercises Don’t Work
Not every exercise is suitable for everyone. When a particular movement causes discomfort or doesn’t yield results, it’s essential to find alternative exercises that target the same muscle groups. For instance, if squats are problematic, alternatives like lunges or leg press can be effective substitutes.
Nutrition and Recovery for Strength Training
As I progressed in my weightlifting journey, I realized that nutrition and recovery were just as crucial as the training itself. Chances are, my body was adjusting to its new way of life, but it made me question my new routine. Was I overdoing it? Was I eating enough?
My journey into weightlifting was not just about the exercise; it was also about understanding how to fuel my body and allow it to recover. Proper nutrition and adequate recovery are essential components of an effective strength training program. This realization led me to delve deeper into the science behind muscle building and recovery.
Protein Intake and Muscle Building
One of the critical aspects of nutrition for strength training is protein intake. Protein is vital for muscle repair and growth. When I increased my protein intake, I noticed a significant improvement in my muscle recovery and overall strength.
| Nutrient | Role in Strength Training | Recommended Daily Intake |
|---|---|---|
| Protein | Muscle repair and growth | 1.2-1.6 grams per kg body weight |
| Carbohydrates | Energy source for workouts | 2-3 grams per kg body weight |
| Fats | Supports hormone production | 0.5-1 gram per kg body weight |
The Importance of Rest Days
Rest days are not skipped training days; they are an integral part of the recovery process. Adequate rest allows your muscles to recover and rebuild, making them stronger over time. I learned to distinguish between productive discomfort and potential overtraining signals, adjusting my rest days accordingly.
Active recovery strategies, such as light cardio or stretching, can enhance the recovery process without adding additional stress to the body. By incorporating rest days into my training schedule, I was able to avoid burnout and maintain a consistent workout routine.
Mental Health Benefits of Weightlifting
Through weightlifting, I’ve found a new sense of confidence and mental clarity that extends far beyond the gym. As I reflect on my journey, I realize that lifting weights has not only transformed my body but also had a profound impact on my mental wellbeing.
My relationship with my body has undergone a significant shift. Rather than focusing on appearance, I’ve come to appreciate its function and capability. This change in perspective has been incredibly empowering, allowing me to view my body as a source of strength rather than just a physical form.
Reducing Stress and Improving Sleep
One of the most significant mental health benefits I’ve experienced through weightlifting is the reduction in stress levels. The physical act of lifting weights provides an outlet for tension, allowing me to clear my mind and feel more grounded. As a result, I’ve noticed a significant improvement in my sleep quality, waking up feeling more refreshed and energized.
Building Confidence and Improving Body Image
As I progressed in my weightlifting journey, I began to notice a significant boost in confidence. Setting and achieving strength goals has been a powerful way to build self-assurance, which has translated to other areas of my life. For women, in particular, weightlifting can be a powerful tool for challenging limiting beliefs about physical capabilities and fostering a more positive body image.
As I look back on my journey, I realize that lifting weights has been a transformative experience that has changed my life in profound ways.

By focusing on strength and capability rather than appearance, I’ve developed a more positive and empowering relationship with my body. This shift in perspective has been a game-changer, allowing me to approach life with a newfound sense of confidence and resilience.
| Mental Health Benefits | Description |
|---|---|
| Stress Reduction | Lifting weights provides an outlet for tension, reducing stress levels. |
| Improved Sleep | Better sleep quality due to reduced stress and physical exhaustion. |
| Confidence Boost | Setting and achieving strength goals builds self-assurance. |
Weightlifting for Women: Busting Common Myths
As a woman who has experienced the transformative power of weightlifting, I’m here to dispel common myths surrounding this effective form of exercise. Weightlifting is not just for men; it’s a powerful tool for women to improve their overall health and fitness.
The “Bulky” Misconception
One of the most pervasive myths about weightlifting is that it will make women bulky. However, strength training actually helps women achieve a leaner, more toned physique. This is because resistance exercises help build muscle mass, which in turn boosts metabolism and burns fat.
Strength Training at Any Age
Another misconception is that weightlifting is only for young women. In reality, women of all ages can benefit from strength training. As we age, we naturally lose muscle mass, a condition known as sarcopenia, which can start as early as our 30s. Resistance training counters this effect by creating microtears in the muscle, leading to greater muscle mass.
| Age Group | Benefits of Strength Training |
|---|---|
| Young Adults | Increased muscle mass, improved bone density |
| Seniors | Improved functional capacity, reduced risk of falls |
In conclusion, weightlifting is beneficial for women across different age groups, offering unique advantages at various stages of life. By incorporating strength training into their exercise routine, women can experience significant improvements in their overall health and fitness.
Getting Started: Equipment You Actually Need

Embarking on a weightlifting journey can be daunting, especially when faced with the myriad of equipment options available. Understanding the essential equipment is crucial for a safe and effective workout routine.
Home Gym Essentials
For those who prefer working out from home, investing in a few key pieces of equipment can be beneficial. A good starting point includes dumbbells or adjustable dumbbells, which offer versatility for various exercises. A resistance band is another valuable tool, providing a lightweight and portable option for strength training.
Gym Equipment for Beginners
When venturing into a commercial gym setting, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the array of machinery and equipment. For beginners, it’s essential to familiarize yourself with the basics. Start with machines that target specific muscle groups, such as leg press or chest press machines. Understanding how to use barbells and weight plates is also fundamental, but it’s advisable to seek guidance or spotting from a professional to ensure proper form and safety.
By understanding the equipment available and knowing how to use it effectively, you can confidently start your weightlifting journey, whether at home or in the gym.
Progress Tips for Long-Term Success
As I continued my weightlifting journey, I realized that tracking progress was crucial for long-term success. To achieve my goals, I had to implement a combination of strategies that would help me stay on track and motivated.
One key aspect is understanding
Progressive Overload Explained
Progressive overload refers to the gradual increase in weight, resistance, or reps over time to challenge the muscles and stimulate growth. This can be achieved by adding weight, increasing reps, or decreasing rest time between sets. For example, if you’re doing three sets of 8-12 reps, you can progressively overload by adding 2.5-5lbs to the weight every two weeks.
Tracking Your Strength Gains
Tracking progress involves more than just monitoring the weight lifted. It’s also about assessing form quality, recovery time, and subjective feelings. I used a workout journal to log my exercises, weights, and reps, which helped me identify patterns and make adjustments to my training program. Some effective methods for tracking strength gains include:
- Using fitness apps to log workouts and monitor progress
- Tracking performance metrics beyond just weight lifted, such as time under tension and overall workout duration
- Celebrating milestones along the way, like completing a challenging workout or reaching a new personal best
By combining progressive overload with effective tracking methods, I was able to make consistent progress and achieve my strength goals.
Conclusion
As I reflect on my journey, I realize that the decision to prioritize strength over being skinny was a turning point. Through consistent weightlifting and strength training, I’ve experienced a transformative change not just in my body, but also in my mindset.
The journey wasn’t just about physical changes; it was about discovering the mental strength I never knew I had. By embracing weightlifting, I’ve not only improved my health but also gained a new perspective on what it means to be strong. This journey is not limited to a specific gender or body type; it’s for anyone seeking to improve their wellbeing.
If you’re considering starting your own strength training journey, I encourage you to take the first step. For more information on how weights can benefit women, check out this insightful article: Attention Women: Here’s Proof That Lifting Heavy Weights Will Not Make You Big and. Remember, the journey to becoming strong is not just about changing your body; it’s about transforming your relationship with your body and discovering its true capabilities.
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